Colonoscopies

Anyone who reads this site knows about My Cancer Story. One of the things that has come along with my post-cancer experience is the need for keeping on top of my health. I see my oncologist every year for a Chest X-Ray and blood work, go every three years for a CT-Scan, get a physical every year and a half that includes a PSA, and I get a colonoscopy every three years or so.

A lot of people are afraid of colonoscopies, or they simply figure they are an unnecessary hassle. What they are, are potential life savers that will either provide for a clean bill of health or find problems before they become far more dire. Any procedure has a risk attached to it, and a colonoscopy is no different. However, if you are in your forties or have a family history that suggests an earlier need, a colonoscopy is a wise choice.

They are not too bad either. The day before prep is pretty shitty (pun intended), but beyond that, you get an IV, go to sleep, wake up a little bit later and go home with a bit of bloated gas.

I urge people who should be scheduling colonoscopies to do so, and soon. To ignore something does not mean it is not there.

Poem: Write A Poem

Write A Poem

Could write a poem
Reeking of frustration
Showing itself in resignation
A sense of pervasive despair
And anger would flash
Reckless wrath in all directions

Could write a poem
Dripping in sadness
Melancholic suffering formed
Revealing uncontrolled impatience
Shadows of time's eclipse
An "alone" unmasking oldness

Could write a poem
Where destiny intersects
Cursed to failure
A hopeless unhappiness
Given to an enduring beat
Rhythmically repeating "Not for you, not for you"

Could write a poem
Yes, I could write a poem

Copyright SGW 2006

Being a patriot

"We used to look at environmentalism as a hobby for the high-minded. But conserving energy and living a "green" lifestyle is actually the most patriotic thing you can do today. It fights global warming, protects nature, shrinks our dependence on foreign oil and makes America a model others want to follow. Green is the new red, white and blue."

- Thomas Friedman

I came across this and I find it to cut right through to a definite truth. I am not saying any person can be perfect in their environmentalism. I am not myself by a long shot. A lot of the paths are too expensive for the average person at this time. Also, society can make things close to impossible sometimes.

That said, don't come singing to me about patriotism if you make no effort at all to conserve, protect and nurture our natural resources. Driving inefficient vehicles, promoting over-development, tossing cigarette butts on the sidewalk, not trying to recycle in even the smallest way, or not showing a genuine respect for life that is truly alive (that means forests, rivers, wildlife, etc...,) are all threats to the long-term health of this country (not to mention the planet). No terrorist can ever do as much damage to our way of life as we do each day ourselves by not being red, white, blue ... and green.

Poem: The Rain

The Rain

I am the rain
I love the rain

With soaking touch
I am the rain
Of sweeping reach
I love the rain
Through quenching breath
I am the rain
By puddles formed
I love the rain
To flowing streams
I am the rain
From beating drops
I love the rain
In rhythmic strokes
I am the rain
This rainy day

I love the rain
I am the rain

Wind blown trees
Broken branches
Luminous puddles form
Rain beats down with endless vigor
Grayed skies show no sign of relenting

The rain ... the rain ... the rain

Cold skirmishes with alerted hairs on exposed arms
Drops trickle down a smooth cheek

I am the rain

Copyright SGW 2006

Poem: Muffler

In a meditation circle, one person mentioned how her muffler had fallen off her car. She was very self-conscious driving, for fear she would disturb others along the road. This evolved into a discussion on how we muffle ourselves as people. Oh sure, no one wants to hear the noisy car on the local roadways, but wouldn't it be great if we did not feel the need to stifle who we are as people so often in our daily lives?

This is what the poem below is about. There are times to be discreet and "muffled," but they should be so much less frequent then they seem to be.


Muffler

The muffler fell off my metaphorical car
And I am free to be
Be me
Whatever that may infer

No longer stifled by conventional device

I will be the poet
Dance along the yellow dividing line on Main Street
Seek a meditative awareness
Walk through a sprinkler's mist
Admire a pretty image

My muffler fell off ... Hooray!
Watch me laughing

Copyright SGW 2006

Poem: We Are The Enemy

We Are The Enemy

Our righteousness shattered
The cause torn a’shred
Values once noble
Long gone and dead

Led by the mindless
War crimes the call
The hand of the sword
Is grasping our fall

What do we win
If the cost is the soul
Freedoms have vanished
Down a bottomless hole

A beacon of virtue
Now symbols to hate
Of cowboys and cowards
How sad is our fate

Won’t learn the lessons
Mindlessly act
Extremism’s flourish;
To ignore every fact

Adrift with no compass
Awash in the crime
We are the enemy
The past was our time

Copyright SGW 2006

Wingnuts will say, "See another liberal who loves every country but his own. Another liberal who would weaken America." That would be a typical response based on the fearmongering tendencies of the right and the insecurity they consistently show when anyone questions the idiocy of the Bush Administration's foreign policies and domestic tearing apart of our constitutional rights.

Sorry, wingnuts, but this poem is not about hating America. It is how our rudderless leadership in Washington has squandered our world position, weakened our security, caused terrorism to spread to places it had not previously existed, had a hand in countless and unnecessary death and destruction, violated the U.S. Constitution over and over again, narrowed our freedoms, and ... taken the United States of America and made it much less than the idealistic and exalted place I believe it once was and wish it to be again.

This is not a poem that hates America. It is a piece that despises those who have disgraced this country and made it something less. "We Are The Enemy" is a statement about George Bush and his Administration.

Sam Phillips - I Need Love

This song has been around for awhile, but I felt like putting it up today.

I Need Love

I left my conscience like a crying child
Locked the doors behind me put the pain on file
Broken like a window I see my blindness now

I need love
Not some sentimental prison
I need God
Not the political church
I need fire
To melt the frozen sea inside me
I need love

Driving into town tired and depressed
Like a flare the streetlight bursts an S.O.S.
Peace comes to my rescue I don't know what it means

I need love
Not some sentimental prison
I need God
Not the political church
I need fire
To melt the frozen sea inside me
I need love

Sam Phillips 1994

Khalid Hosseini – The Kite Runner

I have never been to Afghanistan; most Americans can say that. Few of us knew much about it before the U.S. military strikes on the Taliban following September 11. Even now, what we know is based on the news reports we see on television.

Still, what do we really know? It is in this lack of familiarity with Afghanistan that Khaled Hosseini brings us his superbly written bestseller, “The Kite Runner.” The storyteller in Hosseini’s tale is Amir, who as a young and privileged Pashtun in Kabul in the early 1970’s, lives a sheltered life, unaware of the struggles surrounding him, nor of the turbulence about to overtake Afghanistan. Through is uneasy relationship with his father and a conflicted friendship with a Hazara servant’s son, Hassan, the story unfolds as a series of choices that shape the lives of the main characters of the book.

As Amir and his father eventually escape their crumbling country, first for Pakistan and later America, we get tastes of the chaos that gripped Afghanistan in the 80’s and 90’s. The shadow of the Taliban’s oppressive rule takes form, but it is a distant one to the Americanized and contented Amir; contented, except for the secret he left behind with his Afghani childhood. Confronted with the past, Amir returns to Afghanistan, and only now do we get to see the true and agonizing pictures of Afghanistan under the twisted and sickening Taliban rule. Also revealed is Amir's opportunity to atone for the past that had seemingly slipped away from him.

“The Kite Runner” should be required reading for Americans who too often assume knowledge of that which they do not know. It is eye-opening in its poignancy and rawness. Hosseini provides us with the horrors of life we cannot comprehend, but he also shows us the genuine humanness of a people through many touching and genuine moments.

“The Kite Runner” is both a tragedy and a story of redemptive love, and it is told in a style that holds the reader firmly in its grip. It is a book that will matter long after it slips from the bestseller lists, remaining a worthy read for years to come. However, the time to read it is now.

Red Molly: "Never Been to Vegas"

Finally, all is right in the world (ok, not really, but allow me my hyperbole)! Red Molly has released a full length, mostly live CD. The Appalachia-based sound the trio brings to bare is no longer limited to a 4-song EP, as we now have fourteen gems to soothe us on their newly released “Never Been to Vegas.”

Reviewing individual songs or dissecting “Vegas” is not my goal. All that must be said now is that Red Molly provides a vibrancy and life to songs that has never been more clear than on this CD. Their harmonies are divinely imparted and the musical accompaniments serve as vital enhancements to each song. You even get a bit of the girl’s friendly banter.

Buy “Never Been to Vegas” now on CDBaby. Until you do so, your music collection is incomplete.

A Dance of the Spirit

The dance was beauty, pure and simple. It took the resistance within me and spoke to it; telling the inner struggle it was time for silence and a place of safety and warmth.

And so the sweetness of the dance took hold of my spirit.

Meeting head to head or as a triumvirate of twisting and flying masses or in the gentle trust of passivity, the waves of cleansing love touched me.

A sprinkling of the waters was felt in earnest and lingered long after. Then, again, in a circle, more healing water was brought forth. And I was offered it to bathe in to soothe my skin.

It was God who spoke to me and said, "My child, you are blessed and good and will be given the best that life can provide. Be patient and know Me as your protecting voice for I truly love you."

I am here. I am in truth and openness. I am strong enough to dance and sing and find stillness. Through the pain, that will not be forgotten.

Poem: Dreams

Dreams

Long last found, her gentle touch
A body warm to hold
Kisses melting upon my lips
Her beauty I behold.

That soothing voice that fills my ears
A laughter tender so
Every moment within her midst
Is all I need to know.

She lies beside me and speaks my name
I love her quiet sigh
Her passion rises in basking glow
My love I can’t deny.

With morning comes new realizations
Another evening’s past it seems
This loving time I held to firmly
Was just another of my dreams.

Now each night I cling with need
My lover I hope I find
As eyes grow heavy and thoughts grow dim
I seek her in my mind.

Copyright SGW 1999

Poem: Atlantic

Atlantic

She is tender
Sweet
Tingling of toes
Whisper in an ear
With cooled, soothing touch
Blessed of uncontained love

She is peaceful
Calm
Gifts of giving
Quiet in a breath
With soft, knowing charm
Comfort of Earth’s heaven

She is a late afternoon beside the Atlantic

Copyright SGW 2006

Poem: Love of Life

Love of Life

Life is too short
Precious
I want to live
Really live
With heart
Energy
The love of God,
Good friends and family.

Life is so wonderful
Appreciated
I am going to live
Really live
With love
Vitality
The compassion of spirit,
Charitable giving and heart.

Copyright SGW 1999

Indigo Girls - "The Wood Song"

My regulars know I like to post lyrics from time to time of songs that genuinely speak to me. I have been a fan of Indigo Girls since the late 80's. Amy Ray and Emily Saliers are both writers who display amazing depth, dimension and to-the-heart reflection.

During some pretty dark moments in my life a long time ago, the music of Indigo Girls helped pull me through. I had the good fortune of meeting Amy Ray and thanking her for the influence she brings to my poetry and my soul. Both Ray and Saliers appear on my thank you page in my self-published 1996 poetry book, "Just On My Mind."

Anyway, I have been going through an Indigo Girls retrospective for a few days now, and one song that does not get a great deal of consideration, even within their fan base, but is a particular favorite of mine, is "The Wood Song." For me, this song sums up what makes life worth living in many ways. Our days on this planet are not easy, but if they were, would they be as joyously felt in good moments?

Here's some lyrics from a duo who I love dearly for their musical gifts.

The Wood Song

The thin horizon of a plan is almost clear
My friends and I have had a tough time
Bruising our brains hard up against change
All the old dogs and the magician
Now I see were in the boat in two by twos
Only the heart that we have for a tool we could use
And the very close quarters are hard to get used to
Love weighs the hull down with its weight
But the wood is tired and the wood is old
And well make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds well have missed the point
Thats where I need to go

No way construction of this tricky plan
Was built by other than a greater hand
With a love that passes all out understanding
Watching closely over the journey
Yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide
Seems more than all the courage I can muster up inside
Although we get to have some answers when we reach the other side
The prize is always worth the rocky ride
But the wood is tired and the wood is old
And well make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds well have missed the point
Thats where I need to go

Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look
Skip to the final chapter of the book
And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took
To get us where we are this far yeah
But the question drowns in its futility
And even I have got to laugh at me
No one gets to miss the storm of what will be
Just holding on for the ride
The wood is tired and the wood is old
Well make it fine if the weather holds
But if the weather holds well have missed the point
Thats where I need to go

Words by Emily Sailers of Indigo Girls

Please, AARP, leave me alone for a few more years!

For the past two years, the AARP has sent me temporary membership cards, imploring me to join now. Today, I made it to the next level; a plastic membership card.

I am 42 years old.